The Power Of Godly Friendships
How many of you know that prayer and the Word are very important for a Christian's life? Prayer and the Word are like oxygen. Because in Jesus, we are plugged into God, and that connection did not happen because of how good we are. It happened because of how good God is.
February 2, 2025
How many of you know that prayer and the Word are very important for a Christian’s life? Prayer and the Word are like oxygen. Because in Jesus, we are plugged into God, and that connection did not happen because of how good we are. It happened because of how good God is.
This message is the most spiritual message you’ve ever heard. It is the most spiritual message, yet the most taken for granted because it is so common that we lose the profoundness of this mystery. Apart from prayer and the Word, one of the most important aspects of our Christian life is—Friendship. When we were in school or college, it was easy to make friends because we were surrounded by so many people. But as we get older, it becomes more difficult to make friends, yet more important to have them. As I grow older, I appreciate the gift of friendship even more.
There was a Harvard research study—the longest research ever conducted, spanning almost 80–90 years—trying to determine the secret to a good, healthy, long-lasting, fruitful life. The findings were shocking. It was not money, fame, or accomplishments. It were healthy relationships.
Think about it: at the end of your life, what do you want? Would you be satisfied knowing that you are a millionaire with millions of dollars just lying around? Or that you have five million Instagram followers who don’t truly know you and only care about the next reel you post? Or would you rather have people who stand by you—friends who become family and family who become friends? You need both. You need family to be friends and friends to be family.
That’s why, in 2020, when COVID happened, I hated it. I knew it was from the devil. I knew it was demonic because it stole the very fabric of our humanity—connections. It forced social and physical isolation, and it was slowly killing us. More people died from depression than from COVID.
Now, the world is resetting, and corporations are resuming work from office, closing down remote work, because they recognize the importance of human connection.
We need friends. It is one of the most Godly messages you will ever hear. I have seen people who pray and read the Word but don’t have friends, and they become so twisted. I was born into a Christian family, and one of the challenges I faced while growing up was the difference between two worlds—home and school. At home, we had a Godly atmosphere. My parents were Godly; they led me and taught me. But in school, it was a completely ungodly environment. It felt like I had two different personalities—one at home and another at school. As I entered my teenage years, the divide grew bigger, and I learned how to pretend. I had no friends in church, but I had many at school. These friends taught me many things—about sex, relationships, and life—but it was all wrong. They shaped my upbringing in ways I later had to unlearn.
When I had the opportunity to study engineering, I wanted to go as far away from home as possible. I didn’t care about the college; I just wanted to be away from my church and family because of the great divide I felt inside me. When I joined my engineering college, I was happy to miss the first Sunday at church. A backsliding Christian! A pastor’s kid making the choice to skip church. The next Sunday, I played cricket all day, from 7:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. But God had different plans. Some seniors in college first ragged me, but then they got to know me. These people became intentional about my life and started pursuing me relentlessly. They would ask, “What are you doing this Sunday?” I would say, “Playing cricket.” But they would drag me to church. Because they were seniors, I had no choice. They kept bringing me to church, and though nothing happened in my first year, by the second year, God moved in my heart. All my questions, doubts, and hurts—especially from witnessing hypocrisy in the church—were answered when I saw these people’s lives.
They were real. Seeing their lives reflected the life of Jesus I always longed to see. Yes, we see Godly parents, but there’s something powerful about seeing your peers walk like Jesus. If they can do it, you know you can too. Many times in college, I would have relapsed into my old ways, but friendship brought me back, restored me, and gave me strength to move forward.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.”
This verse is not just about marriage, my friends. Sometimes single people think they don’t need friends after marriage, but that’s not true. In fact, when my wife, Betty, and I got married, we realized we needed couple friends—like-minded people in ministry whom we could journey with. Before that, we were surrounded by single friends, but single people don’t fully understand the challenges of marriage. We needed couples with whom we could share our joys and struggles.
Godly friendships are just as crucial as spiritual disciplines. When I was in college, I had many friends, and we did all kinds of crazy things. But now, none of those friends are connected to me. However, the friends with whom I prayed and studied the Word are still connected to me. Because spiritual connection is the strongest connection. Friendship is just as important as prayer and the Word.
1 Corinthians 13:13 – “Now faith, hope, and love remain. But the greatest of these is love.”
Do you know why? Because faith, hope, and love abide—they remain—because they are spiritual faculties. Just like your nose is a physical faculty for smelling, and your hands are for touching, faith, hope, and love are spiritual faculties.
How do you grow in faith? By the Word of God. How do you grow in hope? By prayer. How do you grow in love? Through friendships and relationships.
In the kingdom of God, wealth holds the lowest currency, but relationships hold the highest. Yet, look at what the devil has done—he deceives the church by making us chase after the lowest denominator so that we miss out on the highest currency.
We are not called to live out Christianity alone. Some people may ask, “Why do I need to go to church? I can pray at home.” But Jesus didn’t teach us to pray individually. He taught us to pray, saying, “Our Father” . Jesus also said,
Matthew 18:20 – “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them” .
This shows us that God is relational, and He created us in His image to be relational as well. When God revealed Himself to Adam, He didn’t introduce Himself as just the Almighty or All-Powerful One who would only be available when needed. Instead, He introduced Himself as Yahweh, the covenant-keeping, relational God. God is Almighty and All-Powerful, but He desires to be relational with us.
We are created to both love and be loved. Just as our bodies need both intake and release to function, love needs to flow in both giving and receiving. Faith that grows has visible evidence.
Ephesians 1:15 – For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints.
Our faith becomes evident when we love people, and our love for one another demonstrates our faith. Friendships are vital, but they tend to become more challenging as we grow older. This is often because our egos harden over time. Think about children—how quickly they forgive, make friends, and restore relationships. Yet, as adults, we may hold onto grudges over small things.
Even Jesus had friends. At the end of His ministry, He said to His disciples,
John 15:15 “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends”.
Godly friendships are essential. The Bible warns us,
1 Corinthians 15:33 – “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’’.
Who influences you? Who speaks into your life?
There is a saying: “You are the average sum of the five people closest to you.” It’s important to be mindful of who surrounds you.
Consider Judah, one of Jacob’s sons. When Joseph was favored by their father, Judah’s jealousy led him to betray Joseph. He then distanced himself and befriended a man named Hirah. The name “Judah” means “praise,” while “Hirah” means “anger.” When praise is paired with anger, misfortune follows. Judah’s life suffered as a result, showing us the importance of evaluating our friendships.
Psalm 1:1 – “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers” .
Friendships should be evaluated—are they godly or ungodly? Who influences you? It’s important to remember that while we should make friends with those outside the faith, the people who influence our lives should be godly, and we should aim to influence the world with the power of the Gospel. King Saul, the first king of Israel, disobeyed God, which led to God anointing David as his successor. Despite knowing David would be king, Saul’s son Jonathan remained faithful to David. “Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” . He gave up his own ambitions for the sake of their friendship.
Do you have friends you love as your own soul? Friends for whom you are willing to sacrifice personal ambitions? This is the kind of friendship Jesus extended to us. He became fully human to befriend sinners. “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” . He didn’t wait for us to fix ourselves first; He came to us as a friend.
The purpose of friendship is not merely companionship, but to know God and to build His kingdom together. Think of friendships like Lego blocks—each one interlocks to create something greater.
Proverbs 27:17 – “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.
Even among godly friendships, we need to remember their purpose—spiritual growth. Without the Word and prayer, friendships can become empty. True friendship should involve more than just fun; it should encourage faith, growth, and spiritual conversations. Too often, Christians compartmentalize their spiritual and secular lives. But godly friendship blends both. It should be natural to talk about everything—life, struggles, faith, and what God is doing in our lives. There should be no awkwardness in discussing spiritual matters. When we come together as godly friends, pray, share the Word, and enjoy each other’s company, the impact is eternal.
True friendship helps us learn to apply the Word of God. In fellowship, we see how God works in each other’s lives. “Your weakness becomes my strength, and my strength becomes yours.” Godly friendships are a channel of blessing through which God blesses us.
Colossians 1:12 – “Giving thanks to the Lord, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints” .
Sometimes, we think that we only need to pray and read the Word, neglecting the importance of friendships. But in reality, friendships are channels of blessing. Through them, we share in each other’s grace and strength.
We can sometimes be so super-spiritual that we expect God to do everything directly, rejecting the help of others. But God blesses us through people. If we only read and pray but don’t engage in relationships, we miss out on the blessings God wants to share with us through others.
You might be waiting for others to earn your trust, but remember that trust is not just something earned; it’s also a choice. God trusts us not because we’ve earned it, but because He is strong. He trusts us despite our flaws.
Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” .
In friendships, we need to restore trust, not wait for it to be earned. Jesus exemplified this when He forgave Peter after Peter denied Him.
“Take care of my sheep” . Jesus gave His most precious asset—His people—to Peter despite his betrayal. Good friendships challenge us. They don’t just make us feel good; they bring out both the best and worst in us. Consider David and Nathan. When David sinned with Bathsheba, Nathan confronted him. We need friends who challenge us to grow and correct us in love.
Friendships, though challenging, stretch us.
Proverbs 18:24 – “A man who has friends must himself be friendly”.
Building true friendships takes time and effort, but it starts with being friendly. Friendship is a two-way street.
James 1:19 – “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”.
Be more interested in others and listen. Even in ministry, we need friends who will stand with us, shoulder to shoulder, bearing each other’s burdens. We may not be able to be friends with everyone, but we can be friendly to everyone.
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